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My heart broken friends once told me that a break up is a death sentence. I laughed, until I found myself teary-eyed and by their side, with the person I was buried somewhere between his screams and the clothes I had forgotten in his bedroom.

I learned then that when you love someone so fiercely that they enter every aspect of your life, the last ‘goodbye’ brings no choice but death. ‘Goodbye’ means rebirth. Packing up and leaving the country. Burning every article of clothing they touched you in. Cleansing your insides with vodka shots that taste like them. Becoming orderliness. Becoming as tight-lipped as your thrice divorced mother. Invoking concern in everyone close to you. Letting no future lover leave until they are as mangled as you.

Now I know, you can always tell how much a person’s loved by how they touch. New lovers’ fingers shake out a three-note song on skin. They touch excitedly, nervously, like kids inching their way into a game they were not invited to play in. My touch comes like a bullet. It understands. It says, ‘This will lead to ruin. Show me what you like.’

Death In Your Bedroom | Lora Mathis  (via lora-mathis)
People think they know you. They think they know how you’re handling a situation. But the truth is no one knows. No one knows what happens after you leave them, when you’re lying in bed or sitting over your breakfast alone and all you want to do is cry or scream. They don’t know what’s going on inside your head—the mind-numbing cocktail of anger and sadness and guilt. This isn’t their fault. They just don’t know. And so they pretend and they say you’re doing great when you’re really not. And this makes everyone feel better. Everybody but you.
William H. Woodwell Jr. (via fawun)

(Source: art-any-road)

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